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RELATED: 30 Signs You're In a Toxic Relationship We all get anxious from time to time, but for those with BPD, anxiety is all consuming, characterized by intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic.These emotions often arise as a hypersensitive response to other people’s actions, says Dr. People with BPD have an extreme desire to be needed and liked, and it can be debilitating.That stat may seem small, but probably fails to represent the entire BPD population, says Behary.BPD can be difficult to diagnose because many of the symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar, and narcissistic personality disorder. “At one end there’s a very low-functioning individual, who can barely manage day-to-day life, and at the other is someone who’s very high functioning,” Behary says.“There’s a lack of understanding about how your own behavior impacts people, so when your emotions are out of control, it doesn’t register that this causes stress for others,” he says.This lack of awareness is one reason people with borderline tend to have trouble maintaining healthy long-term relationships.It can be easy to joke around about mental disorders: "I'm really OCD about keeping my house clean." Or, "Ugh, her mood swings are so bad; is she bipolar?

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The disorder's name alone is enough to spark confusion, since "borderline" seems to imply that BPD is not a full-blown problem.

People with BPD also frequently project their problems and emotions onto others, says Dr. “They can’t tolerate to acknowledge that they’re the ones with the problem, so they blame others instead,” he says.

“It’s virtually toxic for them to own that their rage and anger is not justified by another person, but actually coming from inside.” People with borderline are impulsive: they'll drop thousands of dollars on a new television without considering how it will impact their finances, have unprotected sex with multiple partners, or engage in other risky behavior. Oldham says they can’t help it—their minds work like hyperactive motors in cars with broken breaks. At times, risk taking tendencies can even lead to cutting or other extreme self-harm, says Dr. “It helps them turn off their emotions and produce release.” This generally happens when people with BPD feel extremely dissociated, detached, or numb for too long. Oldham points out there’s a high rate of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts in the BPD population.

“It’s not the same persistent mood state you’d see in someone with bipolar, characterized characterized by severe manic or depressed episodes that can last for weeks or longer,” says Dr. Instead, BPD moods change rapidly, and are often triggered by overreactions to external events.

For example, if a colleague was too preoccupied to say hello in the hallway, someone with BPD might suddenly become extremely agitated, says Dr. “Small things that wouldn’t even occur to other people to take personally are completely overreacted to and internalized.” It’s common for people with BPD to react in a way that seems exaggerated or disproportional to an event.

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